In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give out students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course,please see your lecturer.You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list,and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be place in the DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated,they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore,and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T.,you may be interested in a job teaching others.We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting,we will refer you to the epartment of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATIONAL (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasises how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If your have further questions,please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,BOSS IN GENERAL,SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Special High Intensity Teacher. )The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)