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☆ Xin Yi

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Monday, December 20, 2010 2:49 AM
Hihihi everyone.

I just sent out an email to someone. More of a reply actually. A few weeks late. But late is always better than never right? :) It kind of scares me actually, the length of the email. I went to check and it's 500+ words hoho. I'm incredible really. I think, I just have so much to say.

My plan of replying texts a little faster is not working. Now say hello to replies only after a few hours and please don't get pissed at me. It's not my fault that someone just totally killed my interest in texting altogether. I swear, my mum can now stop worrying about my SMSes getting higher and higher each month. It seems like the trend has already stopped.

On the other hand, I think -AHEM- someone is mad at me because of it hehehe. I don't blame anyone actually. Say, 3 months ago if a person was to reply me back a few hours later every single time, I would just stopped contacting the person. So, I'm pretty surprised my friends have so much patience with me and my nonsense. :O

Anyway, someone very randomly and nicely pointed out to me today that I don't uh, say mushy stuff anymore. (Or someone along that line uh huh.) Like, oh idk actually. Probably things like 'love ya' or 'i miss you' and even calling others 'dear' and so on. Which I used to, really. (Note that I mean in the friendship way yo.) Though I guess towards the end of this year I just stopped entirely. I can't exactly give a very logical and valid reason to it. But I guess it's because if I'm not sure if I can actually mean what I say, what's the point of saying it right? And also, I didn't want to feel like words are the only things that makes me feel close to a person. Especially, words that are said without one meaning them. There, a complete incoherent explanation from me.

I think at some of point of time in the later part of this year, I got very tired of people pretending to be close to me when they're not. No, I don't mean those kind when people actually come close to me with a selfish reason. Because there's nothing to benefit from being close to me. But uh, it's like you're actually not that close to someone. But that someone acts like he/she is close to you. Then from what the person says and stuff sometimes you actually believe you're close to the person. But idk, I think it's sickening really. Though I think that's only cos I see it way too many times. And I actually don't hear other people have this kind of problem.

And at times I really wonder, is the real problem me or what. Though yes, I have to admit, I've got a lot of issues with myself.

Okay buhbye world I need sleep.

/ps. Btw did I mention my parents didn't come home tonight? Again for the idk how many time of this year. For their grrrrr, entertainment. I swear, if this goes on, there's gonna be a year when they don't come home every single night. Doesn't matter much anyway. As long as they give me money I can still survive well without an adult at home.