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Codes by 16thday!Background from here, profile icon from thefadingnight. |
Friday, January 21, 2011
11:24 PM
It takes so little just to lose that faith in humanity and break the trust in you. The little things you do, you probably don't even know but I notice. I do. And it tells me so much about you. I keep telling myself I shouldn't judge, people aren't perfect all the time and it's not wrong to let your guards down at time. Okay that's probably a wrong expression, but just you can't keep up with other people's expectation at every single moment, I know. But I can't help but let all the little actions and your words get to me. If this continues I honestly don't know how I'll act around you and what's going to happen. Okay right. I'm in a terribly good mood right now it's probably annoying. But oh well. :D The week's over! At least for school. But. the. weekend. is. just. bloody. perfect. There's homework for ALL 7 SUBJECTS. And it's not like just one question but one worksheet or many tasks to do. Right so there's one extra day to finish them since there's Home Learning Day on Monday. But hey that doesn't mean that the teachers get a chance to give us more things to do! Plus I have so many things to catch up on. The lessons and piano and theory and fanfics and everything. AND MY FREAKING IPOD WHICH DOESN'T WANNA START PROPERLY. Godadammit why can't you just work. Random but I have 2 cuts on me. One near my wrist and the other at my knee. I don't even know how I got them .___. I think life's too busy and flies too fast to notice the small things. It's crazy how it's only the end of week 3 and I really feel like it's term 3 already. With all the ongoing project and their proposals, the many subjects and all. I really like how life's progressing right now. Or at least I think so. It isn't perfect, but enough to keep my happy. I'm getting my optimism back, I think. Or a little bit I hope. Today there was this talk by some Taiwan writer who writes about sea experiences or sth along that line and it was interesting. I'm feeling kind of inspired by him. And there was the SIL with the lessons and passion and everything. I like these kind of things and how it influences my thoughts and all. Anyway, I'm going to look at things from a bigger picture from now on. Or at least, I'll try to. And also, to look at things from different perspectives. I think I've talked about point of view so many time that I'm sick of it already. But today I kind of came to a decision. I guess. It's like, last year with things going on and other people's thinking of things and all it was hard to see what's right. I tried having a different mindset from now but it didn't work out. Despite the many reasonings one can give me I still see so many flaws in it. And these are the flaws that don't work with me and it can get me down if I stick to it for too long. So yeah, everyone's different and I like my reasoning. :) Okay this post is messy messy I just want to get my thoughts out. The following stuff are just gonna be rants! Scratch that. The ranting part has already begun. I can't help but notice the difference. And I have no idea why. It's not cause of I want to have you replaced, (hell as if you can ever be replaced) it's just those little thoughts keep popping into my head randomly. Oh if it's you you'll blah blah blah, at this time you'll say this, and you'll do that. Your this and your that. It's killing me really. I want things back to where it was, but no it can never happen. And it's no point wishing for it either. You, your sweet talking and sugar-coated lies. Everything you say, never happens. Doesn't matter if you tried. I'm probably just someone to talk to when you're bored. Yeah sure, and I don't care. You've probably changed, I know. But it's so hard to get that into my mind. Everything bout you screams the memories from the past. I can't stop myself from thinking you're the same person from last time. I never thought I would have to deal with this someday but now I need to. I guess this is just a test to see if I can put things in the past and see through my own assumptions. Or at least, who I think you were. Arghhhh damn why are some girls so freaking pretty dammit. They're skinny and beautiful and I'm jealous :( Saturday tomorrow. Hope it goes great! No theory muahaha happy day. It's going to be a beautiful with fluffy white clouds and azure sky. Shall reply texts and go to bed. Goodnight. :) Can't breathe whenever you're gone Can't turn back nowI'm haunted Stood there and watched you walk away From everything we had But, I still mean every word I say to you |