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}} WONDERS
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Codes by 16thday!Background from here, profile icon from thefadingnight. |
Sunday, February 20, 2011
12:56 AM
Hi world.In a surprisingly good mood at the moment. So I better take the chance to rant about things and get my thoughts organised before I start swearing and cursing and everything falls back into the negative light. Right. I swear, I'm totally clueless as to what I should do now. It's like I have two paths ahead of me right now. Once is to ignore everything I saw and pretend I don't know anything. The other is to tell you. And watch your reaction. I have no idea what you will do or feel or say. I acted out so many scenarios in my head till I feel hopeless about the situation. I think you need to know, but I don't want you to get hurt. Then again, I don't want you to not know what's going on. I rather think even if you do get hurt from knowing the truth at least we can do some damage control before things get out of hand. Classic example of not knowing whether to tell the truth that hurts, or to lie. What's worse is I want to have a second opinion of this. Yet I have no one to turn to. No one can give me trust-able advice unless they know everything that had happened. And the people who know, will just give me their biased point of view. And honestly I can't trust anyone of them, not anymore. Just gonna go with my gut feeling and do what I think is right. I think, we can handle it. As for you, seriously? Grow up. You hurt so many people and you don't even know it. Even if you do, you sure act as though you don't care. And because you've hurt so many people, that's the reason why many are wary of you. And a word of advice, the world's watching. Why isn't earth filled with wonderful people, rainbows and sunshine and genuine smiles and laughters? Oh no it just has to have so many people with screwed up personality. Who think they're right and go on to judge a person. Who's a HYPOCRITE. Who think that the whole world revolves around them and just have to go their way. You know what? I'm so sick. I've been living this kind of life for like, at least 3 years. And just when I thought I could say goodbye, drama comes and find me again. Bloody hell. I wish I can migrate now and get away from people like these. Suddenly insecurity hits me, again. And I don't know who are real and who are fake anymore. I think, soon, I have to make my stand. I'm not even sure if I'm going to have any ally. This time, I probably won't even have a chance to be neutral. Scratch this. I can't even trust anyone now, everyone have given me so many reasons that they're not worth it. And it's way too scary to think that your friend can be your enemy any second. Oh well, your enemy's enemy is your friend. I'll keep that in mind. Been talking to a friend lately. I really treasure those moments because I always feel at peace, which is really rare. It's nice you know, to have someone to talk to without much restriction. To know that someone's still there even when reality's a chaos. And most importantly, to have a friend who's not plotting your downfall or someone's downfall every second. Oh and of course to have a friend who isn't using me. I never really understood why I'm so bad at making and keep friends, but now I guess I do. I need to find someone/something to let me know there's still hope. The world needs to be a more beautiful place. Funny how things can change in few weeks. |