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}} WONDERS
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Codes by 16thday!Background from here, profile icon from thefadingnight. |
Saturday, August 20, 2011
12:30 PM
Life's been hectic. It's been nearly 2 months since I last blogged. I miss typing.But I've been a lazy fatty. Or as you would say, your lazy fatty. Was reading tumblrs and blogs and my mind's whirling with thoughts. Did a little personality test. Let's just say that it's so accurate it's scary. But one little small aspect is amusing me to no end. I'm feeling really nervous right now and I have no idea why. Like something bad is going to happen. You know those moments when your heart is beating really fast? Yeah, like that. And it's going to drive me nuts soon if it doesn't stop soon. Anyway. I'm becoming a paranoid bitch again. When you don't reply, I wonder if you're ignoring me. I know you won't, I just can't help my train of thoughts. Then I'm so scared you don't wish to talk to me anymore. Things between us have been spiraling downwards. And we refuse to admit. It's like knowing it's happening but not acknowledging it. When did it get to this way. But it's not the end, right? Am I really brave enough to risk this? It's like a gamble. Things can go the good and bad way. But that's the thing, no one knows. And I'm a coward. Always have been. I'm so afraid that I'l screw it up - again. It's so much easier when you don't try. When nothing can go wrong. Will this ever stop? Can't you see? In the end there's no winner and everyone loses. Strangling each other until suffocation. So much thoughts put into how to cut each other. Drowning in the sea of tears. So dark you can't see. We fight and fight and fight. Only to end up hurting ourselves. I'm so good at walking away. Don't try. Standing on the edge of the cliff - one wrong step. I want a proper snake ring so bad. Have been looking but nothing fits what I want. I wish there's just a shop dedicated to selling rings. My thoughts right now are so incoherent that each of the paragraphs don't link to the ones before and after, at all. I miss you. |